Out of the dark, into the light

I can't help looking back at the last 26 years I've been alive in disgust.

Ouch.

When I think of all the processed food I've inhaled, all the sugar I've ingested, all the wheat I've eaten, all the chemicals I've consumed...oh.  Hold on a sec.  I think I'm gonna be sick.

But in all seriousness, I lived a little over 25 years with nutrition blinders on.  I've never questioned the food pyramid, the teachers, the scientists, the doctors, the articles.  Instead, I reasoned that having bread every morning was a necessity (my right as an American, dang it!), sweet tea was a must (at least three times a day at one point in my life), and if I didn't allow myself a "treat" every day (a candy bar, ice cream, pie, etc.), I'd be denying myself and would one day end up morbidly obese from finally giving in to the pressure and binging on everything in sight.

Here's my story - how I slowly crawled out of the dark and found the light.

But first, let me give you a not-so-quick background story on me (for those of you who have forgotten, didn't know me before WA, college, etc., or just don't know me in general).  I was a decent size girl my senior year in high school - I weighed around 155.  Not too bad for a band nerd of average height.  My diet at that point was, what I would consider, fairly typical - maybe toast, butter and jam for breakfast, a breaded chicken sandwich or pizza and corn or breaded okra or a cookie from the cafeteria for lunch, and fried or grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a roll for dinner.  This was a fairly common pattern for me.

Notice the lack of vegetables and fruit; notice the excess starch and carbs?

Fast forward a year - I'm a freshman at the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  I'm living on my own for the first time, and I'm high on freedom and independence.  My diet suddenly changes - I eat lots of pasta, Pizza Hut personal pepperoni pizzas (I never want to know how many I ate the three short months I lived in Knoxville, GAG!), more pasta, soda, sweet tea, and fast food.  I might have had two salads and a smoothie the entire time I lived there.  Any guesses on how much weight I gained?

If you guessed "the Freshman 15," you are correct.  How great for you.

For me, not so much.  By the time I graduated from ETSU, I had gained around 25 lbs.  Yet I had convinced myself I was mostly okay - I just needed to work out more.  Right.

So I started working out.  And working out.  And the scale didn't budge, and the fork to my face kept shoveling it in.  Naturally, motivation begins to dwindle when you don't see instantaneous results (discipline and I hadn't formally been introduced yet), so I gave up working out, and embraced the fork to my face routine.

And would you believe it, I lost 30 lbs?!

Nah, just yankin' your chain.  When I moved to WA and finally got enough guts to purchase a scale, I weighed about 183.  The thought of being so close to 200 lbs horrified me - my parents have struggled with obesity for several years, and I knew if I crossed that 200 lb threshold, I might not be able to turn back.  So I turned back to exercising.  Josh and I would go to the park and play catch or we'd walk down to Juanita Beach Park and chase ducks.  Unfortunately, Josh had a job where he had to travel.  A lot.  And what would Sasha do when the hubby was gone?  Eat.  Eat.  Eat.  My only friend in WA was food.

At the end of summer 2008, I got a job - yay!  Oh, have I mentioned my previous jobs were all standing jobs?  It's worth noting.  Anyways, I got an office job, and I've got this great schedule!  I work four days a week, 10 hours a day in front of a computer answering phones, emails, posting listings on our website...

Did you read that and let it fully sink in?  I work four days a week, 10 hours a day.  Awesome for weekends, no doubt.  Not so much for my thighs...oh, and my fabulous coworkers are amazing cookers, and love to bring in things to share.  Oh hello, temptation - I think we've met.  Oh yes.  We've met.

Fast forward from 2008 to 2010.  I was fat.  MOOO.  At my heaviest, I weighed 197 lbs.  Oh that's right.  I bet not too many of you knew that.  I was overweight, sluggish, and incredibly unhappy with myself.  I had no energy, no drive, no self-esteem, and no idea how to climb out of the deep, dark hole I had sunk into.  Throughout 2010, I had really tried changing my lifestyle - I purchased a heart rate monitor and started exercising very regularly, I tried counting calories, I tried adding in exercise throughout the day, I tried staying accountable with friends, family, spouse, etc.  But oddly enough, I was still around 190 lbs for most of the year.

In December, I was compelled to make a radical change.

For years, my husband had tried to convince me to go on a gluten free diet.  "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  Give up my bread, my cereal, my pasta, my soul?  NO - NEVER!" was pretty much my answer every time he asked.  But in December, I had a sudden shift of heart (not to mention lots of heart tests).  I knew that in order to lose weight, I needed to radically alter my diet, so I planned on going on (what I called at the time) a "Whole Foods Diet."  No processed foods, all organic, all as fresh as possible.  But this still included wheat, grains, legumes, nightshades, and dairy.  My husband decided to go on something called the Paleo diet.  Psh...sounds stupid.

Was I really that immature just a couple of months ago?!

I think my epiphany came when I watched the documentary, Food, Inc. (if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it).  I felt so betrayed and disgusted by modern, industrial food!  I couldn't believe how horribly the animals are treated, how chemical our food is, and how unhealthy practically everything is!  And what disgusted me more than anything is that I never thought to question the system.

The more Josh talked about the Paleo diet, the more I realized that I had to try it.  I mean, it just makes sense - eat foods that early humans had access to (within reason of course):  Meat, nuts, fruit, veggies.  Eat only foods that can be eaten raw.  That's not to say that I can't cook food, mind you.  It means don't eat beans, cashews, peanuts, and a whole host of other foods I thought were healthy.  And, you just eat when you're hungry.  No counting calories (thank goodness - I suck at math, ha!).

After some more research and soul searching, I decided to take it on.

And in two months, I'm down to 172.2.  Hello smaller pants size!

Join me on my journey - I'll post updates on me of course (lucky you) - how the lifestyle is going, how I'm feeling, recipes, Paleo info, and anything else I feel like putting on here.

Into the light we go.  Dare you to follow.