Life is tough...

...and so am I.  And so are all of you, but maybe you don't realize it yet.  Forgive me if I go on a bit of a tangent with this post as it will have mostly nothing to do with a Paleo lifestyle.  If you're hell-bent on reading Paleo-only thoughts, skip to the bottom.


The last few months have been some of the most challenging of my life.  My husband has been going through a lot of medical problems - thankfully, none of them have been serious.  But they have been trying, and they have caused us both a tremendous amount of stress.  I thank God ceaselessly that these difficult times haven't torn us apart - actually, they've brought us closer together, which I think is exactly why we haven't cracked up.

I think the stress has really started catching up with me lately though.  I've gained about 9 pounds, which I think probably came from eating my way to comfort.  It's something I've always done, and I've been able to resist the urge for a while.  I've also, as some of you have noticed, withdrawn myself from people.  I'm realizing that multi-tasking (socially or otherwise) is not my strong suit.  And while I do love each of you, Josh is my priority. 

So if I don't participate in a program I used to, or if I don't participate as much as I used to, or if I don't hang out with you as much as you'd like, or if you feel like I'm not there for you, or if you haven't even noticed a change in me - hang tight and be patient with me.  Pray for me, send positive energy to me, or toss me some encouragement.  I've been through a tiny slice of hell this year, so it'll take me some time to heal.

****back to some Paleo thoughts*****

All that said, I'm working on getting my eating under control.  I'm back to eating almost totally Paleo (rice is an occasional indulgence instead of included in every meal), and I'm working really hard on establishing a workout routine.  Have I measured myself?  HELL NO.  My body is a bit wonky as I've stopped taking some meds I used to take, so I'm experiencing a delightful onslaught of...well, side effects.  It'll pass.  And when it does, I'll give it a go.

While most of this post has been negative (BLECK), I'd like to leave you with some positivity.  These are thoughts that have driven me to be healthier, physically and mentally, and I want to share them with you.

You deserve love, happiness, peace and success.  Seek love, seek happiness, seek peace, seek success.  You can absolutely do anything you choose to do.  Step out and take the risk.  And never think for a moment that you're not strong enough.  Because you are strong enough.  You are.

Struggling with Addiction

I have an addiction to food, namely, grains and starches.  It has become especially obvious since I've started drifting away from a strict Paleo diet.  I've added rice and potatoes back to my diet, and my jeans have started noticing.  And so has my brain.

I can feel it as I type - I'm not hungry, but I have this desire to go grab some more of my roasted rosemary fingerling potatoes from the fridge.  I would also kill for a bowl of buttery rice.../drool.  Maybe another rice biscuit and some jam...cobbler...

*Whimper*...

So I'm planning a swift retreat from these enemy foods.  I mean, let's face it - food should not have this power over the mind.  I shouldn't be distracted by the thought of certain foods.  I shouldn't feel like I'm going through withdraws when I just had a freakin' bowl of rice 17 hours ago.  And I DON'T like my size 10s feeling snug like this!

This is getting just a bit ridiculous.  Again.

And that's where the blog comes in.  I figure I need some accountability here, so I'm thinking some daily posts might be in order to get me back on track and keep me there.  I mean, I've got a wonderfully supportive husband who supports all things Paleo, etc., but he's been nudging me for a while to stop all this non-Paleo stuff, and his attempts were met with, "I CAN HAVE WHATEVER I WANT IN MODERATION SO SHUT IT!" type attitude (maybe a pinch less attitude than that, but I was determined).  So I'm guessing that I need more than one person encouraging me.

And here we go - tonight, I plan on doing some measurements, getting a proper before picture, and getting this ball rolling.  I've stalled long enough - I mean, for crying out loud, I really only need to lose maybe 15 more pounds.

How hard can it be, seriously?